The Fate Of A Child
by graveMonera
Summary: Everyone dies eventually,many before their time,and a few die with unknown secrets sitting on their lips.Can Miranda cope with the pressure of losing a friend and of keeping a secret from everyone, especially the one whom it concerns? ONESHOT WARNING: OOC


_Hello people! Welcome to my hopefully not crappy fanfic. :D_

_Hope you like my fic, please review!_

**Disclaimer: Kanashi Horuka doesn't own D. Gray Man, Katsure Hoshino does.**

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"Miranda."

She looked up from the baby she was cradling in her arms to see, Allen. His eyes heavy with tears and his usually cheerful features contorted into a grim look of despair.

She wished she could ignore him, ignore all that had happened but the weight sitting in her arms kept her grounded in reality, a reality she had been left with, a reality she had agreed to, a reality she had never considered could ever happen, but did anyways.

"Miranda," Allen repeated "It's time."

She looked up at him, a single tear rolling down her face for one of the only people to ever thank her.

Wordlessly Allen led her out of the room, the baby still in her arms. It was mostly unnoticed in the Order but this child would grow up surrounded by lies. About the past, about its parents, about itself.

They walked through the order hallways, for what seemed like an eternity, but Miranda didn't notice; she was too caught up in thoughts of the past, trying desperately to cling to the positive and forget the nagging feeling that it was all her fault.

"Be careful" Allen cautioned

Miranda blinked out of her thoughts and almost ran into Komui, who, even though he wasn't always….sane, he was distracted even for him.

Komui gave the three of them a wan smile and shooed them away from where he was standing, grief the overruling expression and the faces of the order gathered around in the cafeteria were carved of the same, shared grief, for one person, beloved to all.

Komui cleared his throat. Instantly the little noise that had been in the cafeteria died.

Miranda felt like crying, he was never taken too seriously, for... obvious reasons, but now, he had the entire Order's attention, for something no one would ever have wanted to happen

"Technically, we are not allowed to have a funeral for her," his voice was quivering and he was shaking, he would break down soon, everyone had.

"Regardless, as following protocol, she has been cremated and we are only allowed to weep for her and show our final tributes, to my, darling, sweet, Lenalee Lee."

There was a deafening silence, punctuated by Lavi yelling out protests about her not being dead. Apparently no one had told him.

"Poor guy" thought Miranda "He loved her, even though he never stood a chance."

His yelling woke up the tiny baby girl in her arms and she was wailing. Lavi's and everyone's attention turned to Miranda and her newborn charge.

The new baby had been a well-kept secret. No one could be allowed to know the truth about this tiny life. No one did, except her.  
"Since when do you have a baby Miranda?" he exclaimed from across the room. "Is it yo..." he was cut off by Kanda who had mugen pressed to Lavi's throat.

Miranda smiled inwardly, Kanda was nicer than he let on, and she would have to thank him for this later, if she could gather up the courage.

The outburst over, the finders went to pay their respects, they tried to get it over with, they all knew there were many others who knew her better than they did.

Miranda simply sat and watched them as they paid tribute; she stared down at the now content child who was staring back at her with its tiny black eyes and little tufts of brown hair on her head.

She sighed slightly, but enough to make her whole body tremble with the sobs she was trying to contain. But this time, she couldn't let others protect her, this time she world be strong, for her, for Lenalee, for the baby.

Sobbing was heard throughout the cafeteria, the science department was inconsolable. Johnny and Komui were clinging to her coffin, Bak would be too, but Komui was protective of his Lenalee, even in death.

She turned her head when someone tapped her shoulder, it was Krory. He was trying to stay strong too, but looked like a lost puppy instead. She tried to hug him, though it was somewhat awkward with the baby. Krory gave her a smile and went to Lenalee's coffin. He stared at it for a while, shook his head a little bit and started to walk out of the cafeteria, his long cloak swishing along behind him as he left.

The hours passed slowly, everyone paying their respects, everyone sobbing, Allen's stomach still grumbling, even in grief he was hungry. Eventually, she was the only one left.

Miranda stood up from her chair and walked slowly and deliberately to the coffin. Staring at it for minutes, blinking back tears she knew would spill over. Her knees finally gave out and she crumpled to a heap on the cold floor, the child, miraculously was still asleep.

"Why did it have to end like this Lenalee?" She wondered out loud. "If only the mission had been for 5 months not 6, you'd still be here, and your child would be with you, not me. Should I tell her the truth when she gets older? Or keep her in the dark about everything, you, her father, and the order children of the past?"

Miranda gasped, the helpless feeling rising up around her again, threatening to drown her, to leave Lenalee's child with no one to depend on. She looked around cautiously to make sure she was absolutely alone.

"Lenalee, why didn't you tell Allen? I can't tell him about his child, only you could! And now, he'll never know, he'll never know that this baby isn't mine, but yours and his! He'll never know how you really died, no one will, not even Komui." She gave a bitter little laugh.

"And out of everyone, we thought you'd be the last one left, with your strength and courage, no one thought an akuma, or even a Noah could take you down, in the end I guess they were right, neither of them took you down." She looked down at the child still cradled in her arms, the one who trusted her absolutely.

"Why Lenalee, why? If you'd gone into labor 1 day later, you'd still be here, and we'd both be looking after your child." She stifled a sob quickly and went on "If you could've waited a day, you wouldn't have rushed into battle weakened, I could've helped instead of staying with your baby."

By now Miranda's face was dripping with tears, they were flowing freely, down her cheeks, off her chin and nose, slipping down her neck and into the downy hair of the sleeping infant.

"And I was so relieved when you came back, but you collapsed, and the only thing you had to say was to keep her from the fate of an order child, to keep her from a past like Diera's. But I'm only human, Lenalee, I can't always keep her safe, not from the Order."

"I know about Diera, Lenalee, I know about the Cross children, all of them. I know they tracked them down, I know they were experimented on, I know that only one was a host, but I don't know what happened to the others, and I'm scared. I don't want your child to become an unknown statistic, I don't want her to be like Diera, on the run from the Order, just like her father, running and running and still not finding a place that can be considered safe. Because that is the fate of an Order child"

"But after all I've said, I'm happy it's me looking after your daughter. I promise that I will try my absolute best to keep the Order away, to keep the scientists away, to stop the tests that always come, that don't stop coming. I'll stop them for you, for her, for Diera, so that the fate of an Order child won't happen again!"

Miranda's tears were slowly drying up, and the baby in her arms was stirring once again, she gave the child a small smile, causing the last of her tears to squeeze out of her eyes and onto the child's squirming form. Miranda chuckled a tiny bit, reluctantly, almost silently.

"And you know what Lenalee, I've been talking to you all night, but you never did name your daughter, please. Help me name her."

She looked around expectantly, not seeing anything out of the ordinary, but she had expected that from the beginning.

"I'll miss you Lenalee, we all will, I hope that wherever you are now, you're safe and happy and still as pure-hearted as you were when you were alive."

Miranda smiled a full out smile, it had taken hours of one sided talking, but she had paid her respects, she'd gained closure, she was still sorely missing Lenalee, and struggling to stay strong for her daughter, but she knew that it would all work out eventually.

She looked out the window, it was nearly dawn, Allen and the others would be here for breakfast soon. She eased herself out of her kneeling position, her joints popping and groaning as she did so and started walking stiffly out of the cafeteria.

Miranda looked behind her and saw the first ray of daylight hit Lenalee's coffin straight on, Lenalee's daughter waking up, squirming and opening her eyes to an overly exhausted Miranda. But despite all that had happened, this little girl still had the most innocent and pure look in her eyes, just like her mother. And just like that, she knew the perfect name for this little girl, Katrina.

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And its done! Well, was it good? You need to review so I know these things.

**For those of you who dont know Katrina means pure in german. **I thought it fit, but i didn't explain so I am now.


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